Twenty-four years ago I had my first abortion. Eighteen years ago I had the second abortion. Two of my very own children --- were gone in an instant. But the heartache and sorrow would last a lifetime (my lifetime). I couldn’t really talk about my sadness and guilt to just anyone. Then when I would feel close enough to talk to someone, they wouldn’t know what to say or how to help. This would just have to stay in the pit of my soul.

As I was looking through some pro-life literature at church I saw a Rachel’s Vineyard retreat brochure. I was spellbound—an actual post abortion retreat! I couldn’t believe there was a retreat for people like me. I checked out the website and made the call. I started the “Forgiven & Set Free” Bible study in anticipation of the retreat.

Finally, the day of the retreat came. I was anxious but gratefully open to whatever it may offer. The facilitators gave so much of themselves and were an intricate part of our healing process. The exercises were very cleansing and powerful. I know that when I walked into the retreat house I not only had a broken heart but also a broken soul. For the first time, I was able to celebrate the life of these children, and morn their loss, and feel the maternal love for them that was never allowed. I also experienced love, compassion and forgiveness; forgiveness that I could never accept before. This retreat was possibly the most important thing I’ve ever done for myself, and my family. As I drove home from the weekend, I felt peace in my heart --- and I felt whole once again.

I will be eternally thankful for the blessings this retreat has opened up for me and I am praying that others will experience the healing this retreat holds for them. Seek the healing!!

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